


Can't Keep My Hands to Myself

by Queenie_004



Series: Say We'll Go Slow [5]
Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies)
Genre: Birthday Fluff, Birthday Smut, Cute Boy Gestures, Cute Romantic Shit, Dating life, Dirty Talk, Don't copy to another site, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kissing in the Rain, Romantic Gestures, Sexual Tension, Smut, We Like a Girl who Knows What She Wants, We Love a Sexually Assertive Heroine, Young Love, there's only one bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:02:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23217451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie_004/pseuds/Queenie_004
Summary: Peter plans a romantic getaway for Lara Jean's birthday.
Relationships: Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey
Series: Say We'll Go Slow [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693822
Comments: 70
Kudos: 182





	1. The Sweet

“Are you packed?” Peter pokes his head into her closet where she is looking for her favorite headband.

“You won’t tell me where we’re going so how do I know what to pack?” turning to him she starts giving him a little push back into her room, “you can’t come in here, go.”

“Got more love letters in there?” he grins and peers above her head into the closet, “for other boys who are definitely _not_ taller or better looking than me?”

“Yes, boxes and boxes full and they’re all far less conceited than you – go sit on the bed!”

He curls his fingers around her wrist and pulls her with him as he walks backwards towards her bed, “come with” his voice is low and she knows better than to act like she doesn’t want to. He sits and slides her onto his lap and circles his arms around her waist. “Are you excited for your birthday surprise?”

Her birthday is on Thursday and to celebrate Peter has planned a trip to celebrate on the weekend. He won’t tell her where they are going or what they’ll be doing – only that she needs to pack for an overnight.

“Very” she drapes an arm around his shoulder, “I just like to be prepared so I have the right clothes…”

He smiles and shakes his head, “not telling you, Covey.”

“Just a hint?” she tries a pout she knows he can’t resist, “a little one? Like, is there a pool? Should I bring a bathing suit?”

His eyebrows shoot up and he makes a growling noise, “there’s no pool but now I’m mad I didn’t think of that because I’d love to see you in a bikini.”

“I’m a one-piece girl Kavinsky, sorry.”

“That’s hot too” he nuzzles her neck and she sighs and tilts her head for maximum coverage. He moves a hand up her back and into her hair and starts scratching lightly and she feels that warm fizzy sensation she is getting more and more frequently when they start doing this sort of thing.

“Peter” she whispers and he moves his face up and brushes his lips against hers with a moan and it makes her forget what she was even going to say as she starts to kiss him, snaking a hand into his hair and the other down inside the collar of his shirt. He groans and clutches her sweater and tangles his fingers in her hair and she thinks about how in only a few days they are going to spend their first night alone together. She wonders if it will be like this. She wonders if she’s ready for it to be much more than this.

* * *

They’ve been driving for over an hour and she still has no idea where they are going. Peter made her put her phone in the backseat so she couldn’t attempt to GPS their route and figure out a destination.

“You really hate not knowing, don’t you?” he grins at her, “I promise you’re going to love it. Just relax and enjoy the ride.” He lifts their intertwined hands from the center console and kisses hers.

“I trust you – I know I’ll love it but I’m just anxious to get there and see, and also…I need a pee stop.”

He laughs, “there’s a place coming up, I got you covered.”

At the gas station Peter insists on walking her to the rest room and waiting outside, “did you think I was going to make a run for it?” she teases when she comes back out, “not that I’d get very far since I have no idea where we are!” He drapes his arm over her shoulder as they walk back to the car.

“Nah, just want to keep you safe.” Once she’s in the Jeep he says, “I’ll go get some drinks. Snapple Peach, yeah?” she nods and watches him head away and smiles. She never gets tired of watching him knowing that he is hers.

She’s checking her lip gloss when he gets back in the driver’s side, “for you” he hands her the bottle and then presents a single carnation wrapped with a spray of baby’s breath.

“Aww” she reaches for the flower, “this is adorable!”

He shrugs as he starts the engine, “I’d buy you a dozen red roses every day if I could.”

She smiles and reaches over to touch his face, “hey,” he turns and looks at her, “you are the sweetest boy alive, thank you.” She kisses him and he smiles against her mouth. When they part he has a soft look in his eyes that she can’t read, “what is it?”

He’s quiet but leans to her and kisses her once more gently on the lips, “I’m so crazy about you” he whispers. She’s struck for a moment by not just the intensity of his words but how earnest he is. It was crystal clear to her when they started dating that she was an incurable romantic who had hearts in her eyes and believed everything should be fairytale perfect. She did not fully understand how much of a romantic Peter was, that sometimes she considers if he’s even more of one than she is.

She gives him a smile, “I’m crazy about you too” she sees the happiness wash over his face, she loves his wide open, expressive, everything-he’s-feeling-right-on-the-surface handsome face. “How soon do you think we’ll be there? I want to put this in water.” She waves the carnation and he laughs and sits back in his seat.

“Another 40 minutes give or take traffic. Buckle up birthday girl, your weekend awaits.”

* * *

The town Peter has brought her to is like something out of a movie – small and sweet with pretty storefronts and cozy eateries. As he drives them down the main street she can’t stop squealing, “look at that tea room!” she exclaims, “oh my god there’s a gazebo! Peter! Is this place even real? It’s like a movie set for a romcom!”

“I told you you’d love it” he reaches over and squeezes her knee. “This town should be renamed Covey City.”

She laughs, “Lara Jean Land”

“Nice! I’d live there, in Lara Jean Land” he winks at her.

“Are we staying there?” she points at a charming inn at the end of the street with a picket fence and roses climbing over it.

“Actually, we have our own place for the night. My Aunt Pam has a place she rents as an Airbnb – she gave me a family discount for the night. And by discount I mean, free.” He signals and pulls up to an old stone building. “It used to be a barn I think? But there are apartments in it now. You ready?” He takes all her bags and swings on his backpack and nods toward the big wooden doors.

Peter fumbles with the key a few times and then opens the door to a beautiful bright apartment. “Ohmigod this is gorgeous!” Lara Jean cries as she takes in the sea foam greens and blues that decorate the apartment, the rustic white kitchen and the lush plants that line all the windows.

“So, um the place is a little small” Peter says coming up to her and wrapping his arms around her.

“Peter it is so pretty I don’t care if it’s just this one room!”

He chuckles, “there’s more than one room – but not by much. So, you’ve got the kitchen” he points towards it, “and a bathroom right there” her eyes follow to the door next to the kitchen. Then he turns and gestures to the other side, “and the bedroom is through there. It’s a one bedroom though…” he pauses and she turns in his arms to face him.

She can’t help the rise at the corner of her mouth, “let me guess, there’s only one bed?”

Peter huffs out a nervous breath, “there is but it’s not a problem. I can sleep out here on the sofa or on the floor next to the bed. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

She takes his hands in hers and looks up at him, “you don’t want to sleep with me?” she knows there’s a little tease in her voice, and she loves that he hears it too and it makes him blush.

“Covey” his voice has that timbre that makes her feel hot everywhere, “you know what I want.”

* * *

They walk back into town and start exploring. She can’t stop exclaiming about how much she loves everything she sees, and he doesn’t stop grinning at how happy she is. She loves that he’s either got his arm around her, is holding her hand or touching her back. Somehow, she did not anticipate how affectionate Peter would constantly be – he is always touching and kissing her with zero shyness about PDAs. She should have realized this much earlier when he was so aghast at their fake dating contract limiting physical contact.

“I read about this place online” he points at a sign above their heads, “I’m pretty sure it was invented for just for you.” He opens the door and they enter what indeed has Lara Jean Covey’s name all over it – a cozy used bookshop with floor to ceiling books and tables piled high with 50 cent romance novels.

“Oh…my…god” Lara Jean whispers as Peter leans down to her ear.

“Just wait…” he guides her through the first floor and she keeps trying to stop and look at books, “they’re not going anywhere babe, you have to see this one other thing first.” A few more narrow aisles and then he raises his arm with a flourish, “here you go.”

Her eyes widen at the sign for a Cupcake Bar. “Are you _kidding me?_ ” she squeaks, “all these books AND cupcakes??” Peter starts laughing as she spins and throws herself into his arms, nearly causing him to stumble back. “I love it! I love it!” She kisses his face over and over and he lifts her up in a hug.

“This is your birthday so you make the call – cupcakes then books? Or books then cupcakes? _Or_ , cupcakes now to fortify ourselves, then lots of books, followed by a cupcake chaser?”

“I love you so hard right now Peter Kavinsky!” she slides back down to her feet. When she looks up at him her face is bright and excited. “I choose door three, cupcakes now, then books, then we get cupcake drunk later.”

Inside she’s delighted to find that they serve a sample platter of minis so she selects six to start and finds a table while Peter pays. “Are you ready?” he asks as he puts down the tray, “I got milk too, so we can cleanse our palettes between each one.”

She rubs her hands together and they negotiate who is getting first bites of what and the cupcakes are so good they put hers to shame. “This frosting” she moans, “this is what heaven tastes like – like a soft, fluffy lemon cloud. I’ve died.”

Peter is grinning at her across the table, “your cupcakes are just as good as these, better.”

“You’re so cute but you’re so wrong” she giggles, “hey!” she watches him pop an entire cupcake in his mouth then chew it with a huge, adorable grin.

“If you kiss me, you can still taste it” he wriggles his eyebrows and she plants her palms on the table and leans over and gives him a deep, wet, sugary sweet kiss.

* * *

She finds a quiet nook of the bookstore and sits down with a stack of books to browse through. She gazes at glossy pages of art books and coffee table books about photography and decorating. She’s lost track of time when she notices Peter leaning against the doorway. “Hey,” he says his voice soft, “you up for some company?”

She smiles and waves him over, “come look at this with me.” He moves towards her and sits on the footstool next to the velvet wingback chair she’s nestled herself into. The book is about classic Hollywood and she’s transfixed by the beautiful dresses and dapper gentleman of the era. “Isn’t this beautiful” she murmurs as her fingers trace over the feathers all along Ginger Rogers as Fred Astaire cradles her in graceful hold. “You can totally imagine how it moves.”

Peter makes a sound of agreement and rests his chin on her shoulder. “Or this one…” she points to a photo of Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman in a passionate embrace. “This is what romance should look like” she sighs, “we need to start watching some old movies. I want to live in one of these films and be beautiful and elegant and impeccably dressed.”

He makes a quiet chuckle and tilts his face to her neck and whispers, “you’re already all that, Covey.” And something in that turns her completely on. It’s the vibration of his voice on her skin and his warm breath and low timbre and how he believes all those things about her when she only sees them as aspirations.

Outside some rain starts to fall but where they are is secluded from the rest of the bookshop and she turns her head until she faces him and moves a hand from the book to cup along his jaw. His eyes are warm but intense as she leans closer and kisses him very softly, she just wants a hint of a kiss because she feels hot and a little tingly already – anything more could get dangerous. Peter moves his arm up to her shoulder and his hand goes under her hair and she sighs against his lips and opens hers to him, her tongue teasing against his as he shifts the book off her lap and grips her knee to bring her closer to him.

What’s happening between them is intoxicating – there’s no rush to it, no pressure but it is so incredibly arousing. His fingers play with the knot of her headband at the base of her neck and she can’t help the little whimpers she’s making as they kiss and when he moves along her jaw and down to her throat, she stretches her body over the arm of the chair to give more of herself to him like a cat demanding to be stroked. Peter obliges and slips a hand inside her jacket and presses his long fingers around her waist while she digs her nails into his shoulders as sparks shoot through her body.

There is a faint rustle outside the room, and she stills and looks at him, his lips are glistening, and his eyes are heavy lidded as he watches her mouth. She wonders, not for the first time, if this is how he’d look when their bodies were intertwined, as he was buried deep inside her. “Maybe we should go.” She whispers and he nods slowly, still staring at her mouth, still holding her waist but neither of them make a move.

* * *

Outside the rain has picked up as they wind their way back towards the apartment. “Hold on” Peter says and stops and starts taking his coat off, “c’mere” and he pulls her in under his arm and drapes the jacket over their heads.

She loves Peter’s chivalry – that he’s always grabbing her bags to carry them for her and opening doors and now, trying valiantly to keep her dry. Sometimes she wonders if he pokes around in her books while she’s out of her room, getting ideas. But in reality she thinks Peter is just a boy who loves being in love as much as she does.

“Over there” she points from under their umbrella coat at a cinema that has a covered entrance. They run towards it just as the rain really starts to come down.

“Good call, Covey” he leans against the ticket booth window, “I can’t believe I didn’t check the forecast, I’m such an idiot.”

“Hey!” she turns towards him, “no one talks about my boyfriend that way! Not even my boyfriend!”

He smiles at her and reaches down to tuck away hair that has stuck to her face. “It’s just that your birthday present involved there being a clear sky.”

“Oooh! That sounds intriguing!”

Peter shrugs, “You’re still getting a present but I may have to change up our plans.”

His expression is a little sad and she knows what will cheer him right up. “OK, I think it’s definitely time for a rain storm selfie” she presents her phone and he indeed breaks into a smile.

“Yeah! Come on,” he takes her phone and she turns to press back into him. “Are we sad it’s raining or happy we’re on our first trip together?”

“Hmmm – let’s take a few and see what ones we like.” Peter takes some pics and they change up their expressions and even take one mid-kiss.

Lara Jean scrolls through them, “I like this one” she points to one where they are both looking out at the rain with pouts on their faces. “And this one,” they are giggling, “and definitely this one.” It’s the kiss and Peter looks at her with surprise.

“You want to post all three? Even the kiss?”

She nods, “I get to do the caption though.” He laughs and sets the filters and hands her back her phone and she starts typing and then hits post and shows him her Instagram:

_I can see the sun up high though we’re caught in a storm / I can see where you and I could be cozy and warm / Let the rain pitter patter but it doesn’t really matter if the skies are gray / Long as I can be with you it’s a lovely day #thefredtomyginger #birthdaytripwithmylove_

* * *

They make their way out into the drizzle with the coat over their heads again, but they don’t get far before Lara Jean stops and reaches up to wrap her arms around his neck, pushing the jacket off them so they are exposed to the rain. Then she rises on her tiptoes and kisses him, her hands slipping into his damp hair as he wraps an arm around her waist.

When she pulls back she whispers, “I always wanted to do that.”

“Kiss in the rain?” the water is pressing his curls onto his forehead.

She nods, “it’s part of the _falling in love_ montage of any good romantic movie.”

Peter grins, “we’re already in love, Lara Jean.”

“I know” she chirps, “but I wanted to see how it felt to do something I’ve dreamed about.”

He holds her tighter and murmurs, “how did it feel?”

“It felt better than a movie.” He lifts her up with one arm and kisses her again, kisses her deeper as they get soaked down to the skin.

**

At the apartment Peter grabs a remote and suddenly there’s a fire in the fireplace. Disappearing into the bathroom he returns with a big fluffy towel and starts to help her peel her clothes off. When she’s down to her bra and underwear he wraps her up inside the towel and rubs his hands over her to warm her up.

“What about you?” she asks as she’s muffled by the towel, “you’re all wet too.”

“I’m OK” he says but she gives him a look.

“Peter, take your clothes off.” She figures he’ll smirk at her and make a joke but he just stops and looks at her, his eyes intense and dark. “I’ll help if you want.” She gives him a soft smile and reaches over to start unbuttoning his shirt and he is still as her fingers graze him and push the fabric back off his shoulders. Underneath his white t-shirt clings to him and she sucks in a breath as she pushes it up his torso, smiling to herself when he raises his arms obediently for her to roll it all the way off.

They stand there for a moment with Peter bare chested and still dripping wet and her with only a towel covering her in her now see-through intimates. The tension feels a lot tighter than it did in the bookstore when they kissed. She wants to kiss him. To just let the towel fall and jump into his arms, wrap her legs around him and have him carry her to the couch – or the bed. She can feel a pressure simmering below her belly – it’s the same one that’s been building for a long time now, whenever she thinks about taking the next step with Peter. It feels less like a yearning as they watch each other. Now it feels like a demand.

* * *

Peter returns carrying a large pizza box, “this smells so damn good, Covey” he grins as she moves to get out plates and napkins. The continuing rain forced a change in dinner plans, and they decided to do pizza from a place Peter swears is the best he’s ever had.

“I’m starving!” she moans as she peers in the box he’s just opened, “oh, wow that looks amazing.”

He serves them up big gooey slices of pizza dripping with cheese and multiple toppings. “You know one of the many things I love about you,” Peter says before taking his first bite, “is that you will eat anything on a pizza.”

She nods, “oh, I will.” They both take a bite and groan in unison, “this is…”

“…I know…” Peter finishes for her. They chew in peaceful silence for a bit and then he gulps down his water and clears his throat, “um, before when we first got back…I don’t want you to think I didn’t act because I didn’t want to.”

“I didn’t think that.”

He exhales, “really? OK. Good. Just, in my head on the way to get dinner I kept replaying how it looked and it probably looked like we were on the verge of something happening between us and then I just – babbled about dinner and rain and fireplaces and threw on a sweatshirt and ran off.”

She smiles, “it was pretty intense and I think something probably would have happened if you hadn’t left.”

His eyes light up, “yeah? It’s not that I don’t want things to go farther between us, because I totally do. But it’s scary – right? Being so close to that next step with someone.”

“Scary?” her brows knit together, “what do you have to be scared of, Peter? You’ve done all this already – you’ve had sex before.”

“Lara Jean” his voice is tender and he leans towards her, “first times are special always, isn’t that what you said?” she nods, “well, it would be my first time with _you_. That makes me just as nervous and excited and scared as you probably are about it.”

She puts down her slice and wipes her hands before taking hold of his, “I have been so focused on my feelings about how I feel about sleeping with you for the first time that it never occurred to me that you had feelings about it other than desire to do it.”

“I want it to be special and perfect…I want you to enjoy it and find pleasure and be happy that I’m the one you chose to share this with for the first time. I want to make you feel amazing and I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Peter Kavinsky,” she gives him her biggest smile, “you are not going to disappoint me. There’s no way you can kiss like that, and not be _great_ at the rest of it.”


	2. The Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...romantic with a serious dash of smut.”

Peter is groaning into her hair, his bare skin pressed against hers with only her bra between them. The movie they fooled themselves into thinking they’d actually watch is abandoned. Straddling his lap, she can’t stop exploring him with her mouth – the curve of his neck and the hard press of his collarbone. She runs her tongue back and forth in the hollow at the base of his throat as he pulls at her hips, forcing her knees out so she is resting right on the hardness of his cock.

She did not think she could be this bold or that she’d be in so much control. The narrative is always of soft innocent girls and commanding boys who lead the way. But the reality is so, so different. Peter is at her mercy – she can feel it – he even _said it_. A drag of her nails down his stomach or a slow suck at his shoulder and he’s literally trembling, his voice hoarse and his eyelids fluttering. Because of her. _She did that_.

She juts her hips back and then slips them towards him and he curses under his breath, “do you like when I do that?” she whispers in his ear and he curls fingers around her skirt, “does it feel good?”

“Fuck…yes…” he hisses as she does it once more, and again until she finds herself entranced by the sensation of riding him. The layers between them do nothing to tame her wetness or the delicious tendrils of heat licking up between her legs with each sway of her hips. “You’re too much…god, Lara Jean…”

She’s never heard him like this and she loves it, she wants to hear more of it, wants to hear every breath of pleasure, every moan of desire. She wants him to say things to her that no one has ever said to her before – sexy things, maybe even filthy things. His hands are all over her back and along her bottom, fingers slip under the edge of her panties and she makes a little sigh of surprise he interprets as meaning _stop_ but she puts her hand on top of his to keep it there. That seems to push him past whatever edge they’ve been dangling over and he presses fingers against her and wraps her hair around his fist and kisses her hard. When they break the kiss they both open their half-lidded eyes and Lara Jean licks her lips then whispers, “what do you want, Peter?”

He shakes his head like he’s trying to get rid of a thought and kisses her again but she pulls back just a bit, teases him with a small tug on his lower lip with her teeth and he’s whimpering – 6’2” King of the Cafeteria, Lacrosse Team Captain, Hottest Guy in the Entire School Peter Kavinsky is making desperate noises as she grinds against him and leans her heated body against his, her mouth at his ear, “say it, tell me.”

“ _I want to fuck you_ ” he growls, “ _I want to bury myself so deep inside you, you forget your own name – I want to make you come so hard you never forget mine_ …” he gasps then and rears back and she’s completely disoriented at the sudden temperature drop.

“Peter?”

He closes his eyes and grabs her hips to still her and she feels the air rush out of the room.

* * *

“Lara Jean” his voice scratches as he reaches for her, curling a hand around her neck and bringing her forehead to rest on his. “I need…a minute…”

She nods her head but she doesn’t know what she’s agreeing to – doesn’t understand why he stopped just as it was about to get to where they both wanted to go. They stay there for a moment, both panting and he reaches his other hand and lifts her face to look at him. “Are you OK?”

She laughs – a strange hollow sound, “did I do something wrong?”

Peter’s eyes widen, “oh, no, no, no, baby – no, you did nothing wrong, everything was incredibly mind-blowingly _right_.”

“What then?”

He leans his head back and closes his eyes, swallows and takes a breath before he speaks again, “what I just said – that was not cool and I’m sorry.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Please don’t make me repeat it.”

She squints at him, “why not? I want you to repeat it. I want to hear that.”

His eyes snap open, “you…but that was really crude – that’s not you, you want romance and sweetness and that – that was like the complete _opposite_ of that.”

She sits back on his lap and looks at him, “I’m discovering what I want every time I’m with you Peter. And I just found out I like when you talk to me like that.”

Surprise is written all over his face, “I don’t want to say things to you that are distressing because I’m so horned up I can’t control what’s coming out of my mouth.”

She rolls her eyes at him, “you are taking this way too seriously!”

“Respecting you and how you want your first time to be is not important?” he sounds incredulous.

“It is, it is important, my love” she runs her hands over his shoulders and rests them on his chest, “I love the romance and tenderness and exploration…and I love knowing exactly how badly you want me – and I really loved hearing it – it was sexy and incredibly hot.”

He grins, “are you serious?”

“Peter Kavinsky you just popped my dirty talk cherry!”

“My god Covey” he pulls her back into him, “you are blowing my fucking mind today.”

“Mmm” she searches out his lips, “I like the sound of that too.”

* * *

She comes into the bedroom to find Peter already in bed, his shirt off and an arm flung up over his head. “How was your shower?” he asks, and she watches how his eyes appraise her as she shakes out her damp hair. “Was it cold enough?” he smirks.

“You’re funny” she scrunches her nose at him and he does it back. “You’re on my side” she says coming over to the bed, “I sleep on the left.”

“I know” he slides over then reaches for her hand and places a kiss on it before tugging her towards the bed, “I was keeping it warm for you.”

She slips under the covers and turns on her side to face him and he mirrors her. “Ooh so warm, thank you!” They intertwine their fingers on top of the comforter and smile at each other until Lara Jean asks, “hey, what was my present? Besides this trip? Earlier you said the skies needed to be clear for it and I can’t make out what that could mean.”

Peter’s jaw drops, “shit, I can’t believe I forgot!” he rolls over and jumps out of the bed and rummages around his backpack. When he comes back he sits cross-legged across from her and hands her a piece of paper rolled up and tied with a ribbon. “Happy Birthday, Covey.”

She sits up and unties the ribbon and gasps as she reads, “you gave me a star?” She waves the paper with “Star Certificate” on it and he grins widely.

“There’s a college nearby, Endicott College and they have an observatory that is open to the public. I called and asked them if they could show us the “Lara Jean” tonight so you could see your namesake, but the rain kind of ruined it.”

“Oh my god, Peter!” she reads the info about her star’s official name and location and her heart honestly feels ready to burst, “this is so incredible, I can’t believe it.” Before she can lean over to kiss him he holds up a finger.

“But wait,” he gets up again and returns with another roll of a paper minus a ribbon, “I got myself a star too” he hands her another certificate and she squeals.

“It’s called the Peter K!”

“And, it’s right by yours – well, not in light years, but if you look up at the night sky, we’re up there together – always – you and me.” He looks at her tenderly and she presses the papers to her chest.

“I love this so much I don’t even know what to say. Thank you for being the best, sweetest, most thoughtful, cutest, greatest boyfriend” she loves the bashful look he gets on his face, and he holds his open palms up.

“What can I say? I try.”

“It’s kind of insane how much I love you” she murmurs as she crawls towards to give him a thank you kiss.

* * *

It’s sometime between the late hours of the night and dawning of the morning and she can’t sleep. They had kissed and cuddled before yawns overtook them both and nothing more happened before they fell asleep and now that she’s awake she understands she’s ready for more to happen. She looks over at Peter but he’s turned away on his side so she studies his back, the slope of his shoulder and the deliciously defined muscles from all the years of lacrosse and she is overcome with the image of her fingers flexing along this beautiful expanse as he plunges himself into her.

She traces a finger down his spine in hopes he’ll wake up but he’s a deep sleeper and doesn’t stir. Frustrated, she rolls on to her back and smoothes her hand down her stomach to run along the exposed skin above the top of her shorts. She moves lower to skim the heel of her palm over the tender mound between the tops of her thighs and bites back a gasp. She already feels so aroused by everything that has happened today that she could slip her hand into her panties and release what has been building inside her all day – and for longer to be honest, ever since she started exploring what she wanted with Peter

She swallows and stills her hand. That’s not what she wants – not right now. It’s his hand she wants touching her like this, it’s him she wants giving her the release she craves. She quietly gets out of the bed and grabs her phone to shine the flashlight into her bag. Finding the small zippered pouch she’s been carrying for the last few months, she opens it up and carries it back to the bed, placing it on the nightstand.

She watches him as she unbuttons her top and strips it off, followed by her shorts and her panties. When she’s naked she climbs back into the bed and moves right behind him. With her index finger she composes a letter along his shoulders:

_Dear Peter, wake up, I’m ready now. Love, Lara Jean_

She swipes her palm to “erase” it and composes another,

_Dear Peter, I have never wanted anything as much as I want you. I love you, Lara Jean_

Then she places kisses along the top of his shoulder and grazes her fingertips down his arm. She murmurs in his ear but he’s still not awake. Pressing her bare body against his back she nuzzles her face into his neck and drapes her hand down over his chest, lightly raking her nails against his skin. “Peter” she whispers in his ear, “wake up my love.”

He starts to stir and she grins against his hair and moves her hand lower to tease along the elastic at the top of his boxers. “Covey?” he says, sounding confused but slightly aroused, “what going on?”

When he turns his head back to her, she runs her tongue over his lips as he blows out a soft moan from between them.

“Make me forget my own name” she whispers against his mouth.

* * *

Peter is kissing her all over – her lips and throat, neck and shoulders. He moves down over her breasts his mouth warm and his hands gentle and she moans with each swipe of his tongue – pushing herself up against him to give him even more. He pauses every few moments and makes a low groan, his breath a hot pant against her skin. She has no intention of stopping any of what’s about to happen – and she actually feels like he’s taking too long, the need in her pounding like her pulse is just under the surface everywhere he touches.

At her belly he slides a hand against her and rests his chin on it and looks up. “You still OK?” he whispers and she nods firmly.

“More than OK, don’t stop anymore – keep going” she moans and he smiles softly. “I mean it Peter!” she sounds petulant and his smile grows, “we’ve waited so long – don’t tease me, please. I want this so much.”

He drags his fingertips along her waist and down her thigh, “you’re going to get it. I promise – everything you want – it’s what I want too, OK…you trust me to keep my word?” She nods and clutches his shoulders as he shifts to lay next to her, his hand wandering to brush over the tops of her thighs, “do you like when I do that?” he says and the way her body quivers answers his question. “Does it feel good?” he moves between her legs and she opens them to him.

“Yes” she whimpers, “it feels amazing.”

He kisses her hip bone and then right over her pubic bone and she digs her nails into him with a cry. “What do you want, Lara Jean?” his eyes meet hers again, and she realizes he’s repeating the words she said to him on the couch earlier. Now she’s the one at his mercy.

The words throb inside her head – all the things she’s read in books and envisioned in her head – words that have never left her lips before, fantasies she’s never revealed to anyone. And here he is, eyes coaxing her, his touch tempting her and his words encouraging her. 

“Say it” he nuzzles his nose against her waist, “tell me.”

“Touch me…” she places her hand over his and slides it higher up between her thighs, “touch me here.” The growl that comes from the back of his throat is one she’s never heard before and it emboldens her, “show me what it’s like with your fingers first…yeah” she sighs as he moves his fingers into her heated folds, “yeah, just like that.” Her hips start to roll against him and she can feel exactly how wet she is by the slickness of his fingers.

“ohmyfucking god” he murmurs, “you are so fucking wet…” that same growl seeps out of him and she presses her hips down, letting him know she wants even more. And he doesn’t tease or talk or do anything other than slip strong fingers inside her as she hisses her approval.

* * *

His fingers drive into her and back out to trace over her clit and each pass she gets louder, feels herself getting closer. She doesn’t even realize his free hand has reached up and is feeling around the table next to the bed. When he touches her bag, the condoms inside it spill out onto the pillow next to her and she giggles.

“Can I?” he whispers, “I want to be inside you so bad.” She nods because she wants that too – but she still can’t help the whimper that escapes her as his fingers leave her. “It is killing me how much you want this” he says as he tugs at the foil, “you’re a fucking dream come true, Covey.” He looks away from her at the package and curses, “OK we need this open like, _now_.”

She laughs and reaches over to take it, “your fingers are too slippery” she teases as she holds a corner with her teeth and tears the package open, her eyes staying fixed on his.

“Whose fault is that?” he grins and then shakes his head, “I don’t know what you read in those dirty books of yours but everything you’re doing is working for me.”

She smiles sweetly and sits up, “show me how to do it, so I can put it on you next time.”

“Goddamn” he growls, “you are the hottest virgin that has ever existed.”

“Not for much longer” she teases and she watches how he pinches the tip of the condom and rolls it down and she feels giddy and anxious and more than ready. She lays back down and says, “come here.”

He presses down slowly on to her as if he’s afraid he’ll crush her. He moves hair off her face and stares at her lips before he makes eye contact again, “I love you” he says before placing a tender kiss on her lips, “and I don’t want to hurt you… keep talking to me, just like you’ve been doing, yeah? So I know how to treat you the way you want.”

She nods and reaches between them, “I love you too…” he sucks in a breath when she reaches his cock, “you’re the only boy in the world I want to share this with…” she parts her legs and guides him in and he starts to kiss her face softly, letting her control when he moves his hips. She has prepared herself for some pain but it doesn’t actually hurt – there’s a strange sort of pressure she quickly adapts to and presses him down into her and he kisses her on the mouth, dipping his tongue in a rhythm that she finds herself urging him to replicate with his hips.

“Yeah?” he murmurs against her cheek and she nods her head and he pushes deeper into her and she does feel a twinge of hurt but nothing worth stopping over. He moves slowly at first but she’s the one who changes the pace, thrusting against him as her hands move up and down his back, fingernails grazing down his spine as she starts moaning, the friction thrumming between them and she wants to slow it down, wants to memorize every second and every sensation but when he moves his hand between them and strokes her clit it’s only a matter of a moments before she is crying out and spilling over in heated elation.

* * *

They are supposed to go out to breakfast but they are having trouble getting out of bed. She’s wrapped up in Peter’s arms and he’s stroking her bare back. She can’t stop nuzzling his shoulder and placing kisses in the crook of his neck.

“I have never wanted to get out of bed less in my life than right now” Peter sighs as he moves a hand into her hair, “even the lure of a stack of blueberry pancakes does not compare to a warm, naked Lara Jean in my arms.”

She giggles, “I am literally starving right now and it’s still not enough to get me up.”

He leans back and looks at her, “you have been working up quite an appetite” he teases with a playful bite to her nose.

“Look, you can’t be surprised I’d have such a voracious sexual appetite – you know what I read, I’ve had a lot of mental rehearsal for this you know!”

“Oh, I know” he rolls back and pulls her on top of him, “I have never been as turned on by books as I am by you reading dirty ones.”

She shakes her head, “stop calling them dirty! They’re romantic with a dash of smut.”

“Kind of like you?” he strokes lower, his hand resting on her ass, “you’re definitely romantic with a _serious_ dash of smut.”

“I don’t hear you complaining Kavinsky” she says, tossing her hair over her shoulder but it just falls back again to pool over his chest.

“Oh I am not complaining at _all_.” He adjusts her hips just enough so she can feel his hard-on, “as you can tell.”

She grins at him, “do you have enough stamina to go again? Without any sustenance?”

He reaches over to grab a condom, not even needing to look where they are anymore. “What do you think?” She grinds her hips a few times and he blows out a breath, “it looks like you’re hungry for something other than breakfast too, Covey.”

She takes the condom from his hand and sits back on his legs with a sly grin, “how’s this?” she coos as she rolls the condom down and he groans. “Am I doing good?”

“So, so good baby” he reaches for her neck and pulls her down into a kiss. “You realize we’re going to starve today because we’re not going to stop fucking to eat anything?”

“It’s fine” she sighs as she pauses over him, “we’ve eaten together a lot – we need to catch up on more of this” she slips down onto his cock and he grabs hold of her hips with a loud groan. She can’t quite believe she lost her virginity only a few hours earlier and it’s not even 10AM and they are having sex for the third time already. But like Peter, she’s not complaining at _all_.

* * *

Peter is in the kitchen looking for food. They are too late to get breakfast anywhere and they need to eat something before they have to pack and head home. She finds his lacrosse hoodie and pulls it over her head, rolling the sleeves up and leaving her legs bare. She checks herself in the mirror with a pleased grin and heads to the kitchen to join him.

“OK, it’s not quite a feast but I think it will sustain us until we can get some lunch” he says before turning around, when he sees her he groans, “are you kidding me right now, Covey?”

She frowns, “what’s the matter?”

“Uh…” he comes towards her, “you in my hoodie? All cute and tiny and…” he tugs at the hem of the hoodie which is mid-thigh on her, “…nothing else?”

She blushes, “I put clean underwear on.”

“Ohhh” he smirks at her and slips his hand under the hem and brushes his palm up her hip and over her ass, “that does nothing to diminish how hot you look half-dressed in my clothes with this messy, sexy _just got laid_ hair.”

She looks up and bats her eyes, “almost as hot as you cooking shirtless?”

He laughs and gives her squeeze, “I would hardly call what I’ve been doing cooking.” He takes her hand and brings her to the counter. “I present you with the last piece of pizza, some single-serve applesauce cups, and microwave popcorn – butter flavored movie style!”

“Honestly Peter? This all looks really, really good right now.”

“I appreciate that you are on a post-sex high and would probably be thrilled if all I had to feed you was a stick of butter.” Before she can respond he’s lifted her up and put her down on the counter, moving himself between her legs.

“Any baker will tell you nothing bad ever started with a stick of butter” she flirts and he nods his head in agreement. She reaches for the pizza and holds it out for him to bite but he nods for her to start. When he takes his bite she watches him and says, “how do I look? I mean, do I look like I’m not a virgin anymore?”

Peter’s eyes crinkle with laughter, “you ask the craziest questions Covey, don’t ever stop.”

“I’m serious!” she pokes him, “I feel like I should look different somehow – more mature or experienced or – I don’t know.” He’s still grinning at her and she covers her face, “stop, you’re making me self-conscious!”

“Oh, hey” he moves her hands away, “I’m sorry I’m not making fun of you, I promise. I think it’s sweet that you want to know so I’ll say that you look satisfied. You look pleased with yourself and you look very, very happy. And I love you a whole lot.”

She slides her legs around his hips and smiles, “I love you a whole lot too.”

* * *

Lara Jean has her eye pressed to the telescope as Peter’s hand rests on her back. “Do you see them?” he asks.

“I think I do…” they are at the Endicott College observatory to find their stars with the guidance of the astronomy TA. She moves out of the way and Peter bends down to take her place, his hand reaching back for hers and she takes it with a gentle squeeze.

When he’s done, she goes on her tip toes and kisses him, “thank you for the best birthday present ever and for being my shining star.”

He grins and kisses her back, “you’re so corny and adorable and I love it. You ready to go?”

She nods and they thank the TA and head into the warm summer night. A few months have passed since Lara Jean’s surprise birthday trip and their schedules, a chance opening at his Aunt’s airbnb, and the night sky finally all came together to give them a perfect time to return to town.

“We need ice cream” Lara Jean announces as they walk back towards the apartment, Peter’s arm slung over her shoulder. “From that cute little place on the corner.”

“Do we get our own ice cream cones? Or share a big fancy sundae?”

She reaches up to his hand at her shoulder weaves their fingers together, “I was thinking that we each pick a flavor and get it to go and then eat it at the apartment – in bed.”

Peter stops and spins her around and into his arms, “in bed, huh? Before or after all the sex we’re going to have?”

She smiles up at him as her arms slide around his neck, “one flavor before, one after.”

Bending down to kiss her he whispers, “it’s going to be a long night Covey, do you think we’ll have enough ice cream?”

She kisses him back, slipping her fingers into his hair to pull him closer to her, “I packed plenty of groceries, there’s no need to leave the apartment, really.”

“I love a woman with a plan” he murmurs and they both momentarily forget they are in public as they start to make out right on the sidewalk.

“We should…” she reluctantly pulls away.

“Uh huh…” he breathes although he’s barely moved from the proximity of her lips.

“…get going” she finishes.

“Do we really need ice cream…” he brushes his lips against hers, “…can we just go to bed?”

She doesn’t need more convincing than that, “they’ll have ice cream tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for all the lovely comments! I'm happy I could provide some Covinsky joy to you in these times. Look, I've got a lot more just sitting on my computer so I will start posting more regularly as we all get through this bizarre period. Sound good? 😉 XO - Q
> 
> I know things are really insane the world over right now so I hope this can take your mind off things for just a bit!
> 
> Title: Hands to Myself / Selena Gomez (2015)
> 
> Title from LJ's IG quote: Isn’t This a Lovely Day (To Be Caught in the Rain) – Fred Astaire, Top Hat (Irving Berlin)
> 
> Like all writers I crave feedback! Please share in the comments if you have any and thank you for reading!
> 
> [Find me on Tumblr!](https://queenie-004.tumblr.com/)


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